Let It Go

Have you ever had one of those moments where everything is just suddenly crystal clear and you just know what it is that you want to do when you grow up? I hadn't either.  Not astoundingly, movie moment, whoa clear like today.

When I jumped into the fitness industry back in January, I knew that this was something I was supposed to do.  I can't explain it, I just knew.  Fitness is something that's always been an underlying passion of mine, something that was always there when perhaps other things were not.  I had pondered pursuing a career in it on multiple occasions, but things just never "worked out".  Ever had that happen to you? 

I've had several - what we would call in the teaching world -  "ah-ha" or "lightbulb" moments in the past couple of weeks.  Moments of crazy clarity like I've never had them before.  I assume it's because certain events in my life recently have caused me to reflect back on some things... and I began understanding why certain things had to happen to get me to this point in my life.  I've wrestled with insecurities the size of behemoth monsters for most of my life: what does so-and-so think of me, what if I'm not good enough, what if I fail, what if people don't take me seriously, what if they judge me, what if I can't do it as good as he/she can, comparing myself to others around me, etc... 

Much like Elsa in Frozen, I've allowed my fears and insecurities to hold me back in sooooo many instances of my life.  Which, if you've seen the movie, proves to do nothing more than make you a prisoner in your own life.  It's absolutely true when they say that comparison is the thief of joy - why do we allow ourselves to compare who we are to somebody else? Aren't we taught from basically birth that we are our own unique individual? I'm going to ask you to pause right here for a moment.  I would apologize for the Frozen references, but it's literally a movie on repeat at our house.  Both of my kids love it, and the more I watch it, the more I realize how adult it really is and how many teachable moments are woven throughout it.  Bravo Disney.  If you've never taken the time to really stop and listen to the lyrics of Let it Go, I suggest you do so now.  I never realized how deeply I related to the song until the past couple of weeks ,and I was supremely amazed at how true it can be - our fears and insecurities can do a bang up job of holding us back and giving us a false identity.  You can't really grasp onto who you are until you let them go...  ;)  

My life - on a lot of levels - has kind of been upended.  Most of my roots are still exactly where they were - my relationship with my husband is stronger than ever, life with my kids is joyous and frustrating all at the same (which is how parenting rolls most days, haha!), I have a best friend that has never ceased to love me for who I am even when I've stumbled through the realities of who that person might be... but there are a few differences that weren't there before.  And I'm suddenly very OK with that.  It's allowed me to see that we are in control of our own happiness, our own success, our own dreams.  I've got my husband and kids to consider of course, but it's not my job to make anyone else outside of them happy - to seek anyone else's approval for my choices - to rearrange my life to meet somebody's else expectations.  And when you realize all of that, it's like a fog is lifted off your shoulders and life becomes very clear.  :)  

I went to college to become a teacher because ever since I was little that what's I really, really thought I was supposed to do.  In college, there were a few times that I wondered if I was doing the right thing because there were other people that seemed so more much passionate than I was - and then I'd go: but what else would I do? This is all I've ever seriously considered.  (Well, other than writing, but that's another story for another time.)  I'd looked into personal training and group fitness, but I was always to scared to fail.  That people would be like, she has no idea what she's doing, she's not as good as that other teacher, she doesn't look good enough in those clothes - what is she thinking?! And then of course there was that super obnoxious voice that drowned out everything else and won out every time - that's not a career.  You can't make enough money doing it.  It's always been there though, it's never gone away.  It was there when I got offered a job teaching full time ballroom dancing when I was 18 years old, and I turned it away because I need to be in college.  That's what I was supposed to do. There were other factors, but they're even less important..  It was there when I worked at Bally's when I was 21, and started the process of becoming a personal trainer by request, and I walked away from it because I just knew I would fail.  How many times have you walked away from something that you just knew was your calling? 

Don't get me wrong, I loved teaching.  But I didn't love it the way that some of my dear friends love it.  I worked hard and I worked late and I pushed myself to my limits to be the best I could be, but I was also (unknowingly) forcing myself to fit into a hole that was just a little off.  Do I love education? Yes.  Do I love kids? Double yes.  Was I good at it? Did I have the potential to be great? I believe I was and that I did. But I just didn't want it enough at the end of the day.  There were always other things I wanted more.  Teaching all the different grade levels I taught throughout the years were the worlds biggest blessing to me - I met kids I don't stop thinking about, wondering what they're doing with their lives, who they've evolving into.  I had amazing conversations with little people that astounded me on a daily basis.  I got to share my vivacious love of reading every.single.day.  I had my biggest struggles, but the most amazing class I could have ever asked for the last year I taught - I will always hold third grade and that specific class near and dear to my heart. That was the year that I stopped caring about all the "rules" and pleasing people and literally just taught to my hearts content - and I was the happiest I have ever been teaching.  It was also the year I found out I was going to me a mom.  There are so many positives that teaching brought to my life, I can't even count them all.  But I truly believe it was a stepping stone to who I really want to be.  :)  

Jumping into the fitness industry the way that I did back in January was so far out of my comfort zone it was unreal.  It's been a crazy journey in so many ways, and one that's forever changed my life.  I feel better than I think I've ever felt.  I've learned just how important it is to know what we are feeding our bodies, and it wasn't in a way I'd ever expect.  That December day that we sat in the nutritionists office after our daughter had been officially diagnosed as MSPI (milk/soy protein intolerant) I just felt something click.  I looked at my husband as we walked out of the building to our car, my life forever changed, and said "I want to do this. I could see myself doing this - teaching others about how important it is what we eat... It's important that people know."  

I've grappled and tried to find my footing - my dreams were literally too big for me to handle when I started.  I had too much I wanted to accomplish all at once! I've dealt with economic stress with our family, and with others.  I've struggled through the fog of post-partum depression - although I didn't know that was the cause of most of my issues until I happened upon an article that explained how I felt to a "t", and suddenly it was so nice to have a name for my emotions and what I was going through.  And here I am, almost 9 months after I began, and it's all finally starting to click.  Things are lining up for me in a way that I never knew they could, and I'm so excited I can't even put it into words!! Don't ever let go of your dreams. Don't let your fears hold you back.  If you dream it, you can do it.  Why not? The only person holding you back (if you really take the time to look) is you.   The people that really matter in your life, will support you all the way.  

Strawberry Shortcake!

One thing that is especially tough when you deal with food allergies is the holidays.  It's unfortunate that emotions get so attached to foods, but it's a contributing factor to Americas high obesity populations.

My husbands family lives around an hour away from us while my family literally lives in the same neighborhood, so we are blessed that we can see everyone - parents, grandparents, and siblings in one weekend {with the exception of two...}. 

I found out my MIL was making strawberry shortcake - which I love - and started searching desperately for a soy free, dairy free recipe I could eat that wouldn't cost me an arm and a leg with having to buy coconut flour, etc... 

Voila! An easy Bisquick recipe that only required ingredients I had on hand, was easy to substitute, and was fast.  Always a plus! {Here's the link to the original recipe!} 

Strawberry Shortcake 

2 1/3 c Bisquick mix 

1/2 c vanilla coconut milk 

3 tbs organic cane sugar 

3 tbs coconut oil 

Heat oven to 425 degrees.  Stir Bisquick mix, milk, sugar, and coconut oil until soft dough forms.  **tip: I'd slightly hear the coconut oil so it's easier to mix!** Drop by 6 spoonfuls into an increased cookie sheet (I used a stone).  

Bake 10-12 minutes or until golden brown.  Split warm shortcakes, fill and top with fresh strawberries.  

I used So Delicious vanilla coconut milk yogurt as my whipped cream because the only recipe I found for DF whipped cream took longer than I had to make, so I had to find a sub.  It was still delicious! 

{Clean} Eating Tacos!

This has been a huge hit in our house! My hubby absolutely loves these.  In fact, he's been bugging me for awhile to get this recipe up on the blog so he can brag about it, haha!

Here goes:

1 lb ground chicken {or turkey/beef - whatever floats your boat!}
1 can 15 oz tomato sauce {no salt added - Hunts makes a yummy one}
1/2 tbs taco seasoning
1 tbs garlic powder
1 tbs onion powder
1 tbs paprika
1/2 tbs chile powder
1 can whole kernel corn {Libby's makes an all natural version w/no added salt}
1 can low sodium black beans

Brown meat in EVOO, sprinkle of taco seasoning, garlic powder, and onion powder.  Using the spices is optional, but we like the extra flavor it adds and it doesn't hurt anything! Drain after cooking.

Mix browned meat, tomato sauce, spices, drained corn and black beans into your pan and let simmer for 15-20 minutes.

Serve with guacamole, salsa, cheese if desired.  Trader Joes has some excellent clean corn tortillas to eat these in! By clean I mean - corn, lime juice, and water.  Literally, those are the only ingredients.  :)

We like to double the recipe and save some for later in the week!

Enjoy y'all!

mnb challenge: week three!

This week was the final week of the mnbchallenge that was put together by the fabulous Fit Approach and Lorna Jane activewear.  It's been very fun and rewarding to have a daily challenge to meet.  I've really enjoyed having the goals and the playing with my creativity to meet them... This week was a little more difficult as far as creativity went because I started the 21 Day Fix, so that took up a lot of my time!

This last week was believe.  It was all about focusing on yourself and inner strength vs outer.

Feb. 17: Spoil Yourself!

I'll be honest - Monday I got on a kick where I needed boxes unpacked.  We've been slowly moving boxes out of storage, because let's be honest, it's really hard to unpack when you've got a two and a half year old and a four month old.  I need room in the kids playroom so that a) our toddler could have his play space back, and b) I'm hosting a fit group at my house each night doing the 21 Day Fix  We only have one bathtub, and it's not in great working order right now {loooong story} or I'd have happily plopped my butt in a bubble bath.  Instead, I snuck a couple of ice cream bites, and read a book that was just for fun.  :)  There's my happy place!!

Feb. 18: 5 Mindful Minutes

There are still more boxes than I'd like, but there's a nice big area to play and workout now.  I took advantage of this for a few minutes to myself, closed off from the rest of the house, in peace and quiet.  :)

Feb.19: Be Happy! 

We were supposed to post about our happy place.  To be honest, I have two! One is South Padre Island.  My hubby first told me that he loved me there, we got engaged there, we honeymooned there... I have many, many incredible memories there.  It's pretty much impossible for me to go there and not be happy!!! The other is the Brazos River.  I've spent countless weekends here during the summer {sometimes even during the winter}.  There's not much better than floating on the river on a hot Sunday afternoon just letting the water ebb and flow and rock you to sleep.  The scenery isn't too shabby either.  ;)  It also doesn't hurt that this is how/where I met my husband.

Feb. 20: Thankful Thursday! 

I usually do a Thankful Thursday on the blog, but after a crazy week I chose to unplug and didn't get one done.  Thank you Lorna Jane for at least having me do this so I could still fit it in! :)  Choosing to give up dairy and soy isn't something I would've done if it weren't for our daughter, and it's not something I think many people would do willingly.  For me, there wasn't ever a choice - continuing breastfeeding was the only option in my mind.  I have had so much support in making this decision, and so much support in following my fitness/nutrition dreams... so I am incredibly thankful for the family I'm surrounded with.  My entire family is on a journey to get healthier, and I can't imagine where I'd be in my life if I weren't surrounded by these amazing people.  I'm getting to spend time with my mom, sister, and cousin every night that we wouldn't get otherwise, I'm getting to share in some awesome fitness/nutrition experience and knowledge with my best friend {while also getting to cheer her on while she's in nursing school!!!}, and I've got some fantastic family to back me up along the way. So very, very thankful.

Feb. 21: Share the Love! 

I already touched on this, but today was specifically geared toward our #1 supporters, so here they are! My kids are the reason I'm even on this journey, and my sweet husband never even blinked when we made the decision to completely overhaul our "diet".  It hasn't been easy, and every day is still a journey, but I'd never have been able to get so far without his support.  He's willing to try new recipes, help balance the chaos that cooking so much from scratch creates, and never fails to remind me how proud he is of the choice I made for our daughter.

This week never failed to remind me how incredibly lucky and blessed I am.  Looking forward to continuing the fitness and health journey with all of you!

mnb challenge: week two!

Week two of the of "move.nourish.believe." challenge with Lorna Jane and Fit Approach is over. I'm a little sad that there's only a week left! In case you missed last weeks post, basically you have a daily challenge that meets the weeks theme.  This week was nourish.  Each day you take a picture of that days challenge, and post it on Instagram and Twitter.  Not only have I met some awesome people, but I'm in the running to win a grand prize of $1000 in Lorna Jane active apparel.  This mama could do a lot with that many new workout clothes!! You can check out all the details here!

This week wasn't exactly easy.  We had plans to go grocery shopping on Monday, my hubby was supposed to be off all week, and our plans got flip-turned upside-down.  Like whoa.  Instead of being able to really plan this week out like I fully intended, I had to wing it.  I'm not great at winging it... but somehow, I made it through! :)

Feb 10: Go Meatless 

I'd be lying if I said this was an easy day for me.  I love my meat.  I have nothing against veggies, but I'd prefer them to be a side dish vs the main dish.  But, that's just me! I had a veggie chili with homemade cornbread.  Not too shabby!!

Feb 11: Take Your Lunch to Work 

I'm a stay at home mama, so every day is bring your lunch to work day! Haha! Like I said, I hadn't been grocery shopping so it was literally - eat what's in the fridge and pantry week - so I had an all natural pb&jelly sandwich on organic wheat bread with sweet potato chips, an apple, and kiwi.  As well as coffee {my fuel to get through my day with two babies}and some water!

Feb 12: Write it Down! 

Isn't it funny how writing your food down can sometimes make you cringe? It's not that I ate bad, it's just a visual reminder that I probably don't always eat enough.  I get busy, forget I'm hungry, and find myself missing an entire meal.  It's something I'm trying very hard to work on.  Hopefully the 21 Day Fix will help with that! :)

Feb 13: Smoothie Day! 

I love smoothies.  They're delicious! I won't lie, for years, I was notorious for starting smoothies around this time of year every morning for breakfast as part of my "countdown to spring break.  Since I've been a mama for the past 3 spring breaks, that wasn't really my focus, so it made me laugh when I made this on Thursday. It's funny how things like a smell or an insignificant action can transport you somewhere else immediately.

Anyway, my Shakeology that I've been impatiently waiting for came in, so I got to try my very first one as smoothie day! Woo hoo! I have to use the vegan formula since lil miss can't have milk or soy, but so far I'm pretty impressed with the taste.  This particular smoothie was tropical strawberry Shakeology, half a banada, a Cutie, and ~ a cup of strawberries with coconut milk.  I added some honey to sweeten it up because that orange twang just about did me in...  but then again, I'm not an orange fan.  I've since tried it with pineapple and I'm totally in love!! Yummmm...

Feb 14: Go Raw Friday! 

I was truly out of my comfort zone on this one! I'm not a raw fan, but I decided to broaden my horizons when my hubby took me to dinner for Valentine's Day! Our waitress started talking about the raw bar and I was immediately excited to see what they had to offer - easy check off for the last day of this week's challenge!! My pick was tuna tartare.  It was absolutely delicious.  Really.  I'll definitely be trying that again!

Next week is the last week in our challenge, and it's believe.  Tomorrow, I'm supposed to spoil myself.  Hmmmm, any suggestions??  :)

A Different Type of Thankful Thursday

I've been chewing for a few days about what exactly I wanted to say in this particular blog post.  I posted a picture almost a week ago that got more response than I expected, by a long shot! And it's been heavy on my heart ever since.

See, I've never been the type to be outspoken or confrontational.  While as a kid I always loved being the center of attention, the thought slightly terrifies me as an adult.  However, when something is tugging this strongly at my heartstrings and I know it's a subject many women don't talk about and struggle with, I'm speaking out.

I was just being honest when I posted this picture.  Real girls aren't perfect.  I've said from the get go of becoming a Beachbody coach - I'm all about keeping it real.  I signed up to do this yes, a way to gain some financial freedom, to make some money for myself instead of using my husbands paycheck {I know all you stay at home mamas understand what I'm saying here}, but more importantly to make a difference in people's lives.  As a stepping stone to do what I finally realize I really want to truly do - what I'm totally and completely on fire about.  To show people that no matter who you are, or where you come from, you can do this.  In the words of sweet Aibileen: You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important. And I'm throwing one last statement in there: You is beautiful.   

When I got pregnant with our first child, that 15+ year old insecurity of my physical appearance reared it's ugly head with a vengeance.  I can't even tell you how many tears I shed over the fear of stretch marks, then later over the stretch marks themselves.  How I might never look "the same" again.  How I felt sitting next to my 23 year old {I was 29 at the time} friend that was a good 50 pounds lighter than I was, with "perfect" skin and no fear of strutting her stuff in an itty bitty bikini.  And I felt like a beached whale.  I literally cried to my husband that I didn't understand how he could still find me beautiful and sexy, when all I could see were mounds of imperfections.  Extra skin left from pregnancy, stretch marks, discolorations... I mean, let's be real, it's a bit traumatic to the system.  Especially when you use all the lotions that claim to keep stretch marks away and instead of this beautiful "perfect" belly like Tori Spelling, you end up with exactly what you were trying to avoid in the first place... I hadn't quite figured it out that pregnant bellies are beautiful.  I embraced it much more the second time around.

I went from ~128 to 174 with my first pregnancy {Aug '11 in the picture on the left}, and ~118 to 158 with my second {Oct '13 on the right}.  Believe me when I say that I gained my fair share of weight with both babies! :)

I wish I could tell you the exact moment that it clicked in my brain how silly it all was.  I wish I could say that the hundreds of times that my husband held me while I sobbed {during and immediately after pregnancy}and whispered sweet reassurances that I'd just had his baby and I needed to realize what I'd just accomplished and was beautiful to him no matter what I thought I saw in the mirror, actually clicked.  Don't get me wrong, those words helped, but that wasn't what knocked me completely off my high horse.

It was my son.  I've looked at him in utter amazement and wonderment so many times I lost count the first month of his life...and I've done so millions and trillions of time since... but my thoughts every time that I gazed at him were like a record on repeat: We made this tiny little miracle.  I carried him, and grew him, and gave him life.  ME.  The further that sunk in, the more I began to realize how incredibly selfish I was being about my body.  Those stretch marks, the ones that covered my butt, hips, thighs, around my knees, boobs, and especially my stomach - those were proof that my body had accommodated this tiny little person.  It had been his home, his safe haven, his life source.  Those stretch marks were what made me a mama.

There was another thought that popped into my head as well: how ridiculous was I being about these badges of honor {if you will}, when there are women all over the world that can't get pregnant? Had I ever stopped to realize how many women would love to be covered in stretch marks, just so that they could carry their own baby? That one stung.  Bad.  We all are inherently selfish by nature, we're all sinners, so it shouldn't have felt like such a slap in the face to realize how childishly selfish I had been about how I looked, but it did.  And I was.

How ridiculous is it that we - women in general, not just mamas - have fallen into the trap that society has set for us? That we have to look a certain way in order to be beautiful...?  Those models that we are constantly comparing ourselves to are airbrushed.  They aren't real.  And no offense, but I don't want to look that thin. I want tone, I want definition, I want to look and be strong.  I want to be healthy outside and in.  I want to be someone that my daughter can look up to.  

I stumbled upon this beauty one night {or should I say early morning?} when I was having a nursing session with my first... and literally wept with how it made me feel.  It was absolutely what I needed to hear/see at the time, and has stuck with me ever since.  I saved it on my phone, and looked at it every single time I felt down to give myself a reality check.  Kinda like, I am woman, hear me roar! {Cue: Katy Perry's Roar, haha!}  

I'd be lying if I said I didn't still have bouts of insecurity - how I still have this baby pooch, or the way my extra skin wrinkles when I bend over or do crunches, or how my boobs are not as perky as they once were due to two bouts of breastfeeding {haha!}... but they're incredibly short lived.  Fleeting moments that I wrestle with like every other woman out there.  Now, not only have I completely embraced my mama body, I'm working with it, instead of against it.  

And then I look at my two little precious miracles, and laugh at myself... and I'm thankful for every little imperfection that I earned by becoming their mama.

mnb challenge: week one!

Alright folks.  Week one of the "move.nourish.believe." challenge is over! I love doing these challenges.  It holds me accountable, it forces me to step out of the box and try new things,  it gives me "easy" content to post on social media {which some days is much needed, haha!}, and it gives me a focus.  I tend to be all over the place because I get too excited and start getting too much going at once, so focus is good.  {If you want to jump in and join in on the fun, click here for the event on Facebook! It's an awesome party!} You're supposed to take a picture that relates to that days challenge, post your accomplishment on Twitter and Instagram, and then recap here at the end of the week!

Besides, the grand prize for this fabulous challenge is $1,000 shopping spree to Lorna Jane!!! As a mom who's always putting her kids needs before her own, I could use workout gear... I've been using the same stuff for several years now! 

Week one was all about movement. {Does anyone else get the I like to move it, move it song from Madagascar song stuck in your head when you talking about moving? No? Just me? ok.}   So, without further adeiu, here's how my week went! 

Feb 3: Sweat it out - show us your favorite way to sweat it out! 

I'm a stay at home mama with a two and a half year old and a four month old.  Workout DVDs are a staple for me.  I love to get out and walk with the kids when I can, but it's been too cold here to get them out.  Boooo.  To be honest, our Playstation has been trying to fritz out for awhile, and I think it finally bit the dust... I couldn't get the silly thing to boot up.  So, I worked out on my laptop.  I wasn't going to let anything stop me starting this challenge on Monday! In case you can't see it in the picture,  I broke out my Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Boot Camp dvd, it's an oldie but a goodie! :) 

Feb 4: Change it up! Sweat a new way! Find a workout from movenourishbelieve.com/category/move and show your post-session selfie! 

This is a prime example of why I love this challenge.  I had to log on to the move.nourish.believe. website and find a workout to do for this day.  I had to step out of my comfort zone and try something different. After scrolling through several workouts, I picked this travel workout.  I don't have the confidence quite yet to try some of the yoga stuff she had posted without causing myself harm! I added a little extra to do it by pulling up a video from +Natalie Jill on Instagram.  Love her workouts, and I hadn't done this one! 

Feb 5: Let's get planking! Plank for at least 5 minutes today.  You can split the planks up.

I don't know about anyone else, but I have a love/hate relationship with planks.  I'm four months out from my second c-section, and it still ceases to amaze me how different I feel even when compared to after having our son two and a half years ago.  I've always prided myself on having strong abs, but there's just something about carrying a baby around then having those muscles sliced through that puts you in a new category.  It's worth everything you go through, it's just a different kind of challenge.  I spent some of my planking time with my favorite little boy riding on my back.  Totally makes any workout fun! Love this kid.  

Feb 6: Buddy up! Workout with a friend today.

My favorite workout buddy happens to be my sister.  I'll be honest, we have had the most incredibly rocky relationship, and I love that we are now at a point in our lives where we seem to have called a truce and just enjoy being around each other.  I think that for the first time in our lives, we actually aren't competing with each other, we're working as a team.  I still haven't seen it, but I've heard that our relationships mimics the one in Frozen {and no, I don't have magical ice powers, sorry to disappoint, haha!)...  We popped in another oldie but goodie: Flirty Girl Fitness - abs and booty.  I haven't done this workout in awhile, and I rememberd it being a halfway decent workout... Our legs were both jelly by the end, and today, I'm feeling the repercussions of "leg day".  I'm all those ridiculous meme's you see all over the interwebs.  

Like this one.  

Feb 7: Show your five fitness favorites.  Exercise, people, whatever gets you moving and motivated! 

I'm hoping in a few months I can come back and revisit this, and some of my items will be different.  I have a few things on my fitness "wishlist", like a Polar, or fitbit, new sports bras and shorts/yoga pants and leggings, new shoes, etc...  :)  But for now, these are my go-to essentials.  My favorite Pink yoga pants, my loved Nike sports bra {so comfy}, my Under Armour shoes, my yoga mat, and my fave workout DVDs: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Bootcamp {hey, I'm from the DFW metroplex, I love my DCC!}, Flirty Girl Fitness, anything Shaun T - the man is crazy but knows how to get 'er done, and Yoga Booty Ballet.  I'm actually about to begin a new program - which just shipped tonight - hooray! in a little over a week and I'm almost beside myself with excitement!! Woo hoo!!! 

Next week is Nourish.  I'm supposed to eat a meatless meal on Monday which should be interesting as I loooove my meat.  And so does my husband...  Hmmm.  Wish me luck!