mnb challenge: week three!

This week was the final week of the mnbchallenge that was put together by the fabulous Fit Approach and Lorna Jane activewear.  It's been very fun and rewarding to have a daily challenge to meet.  I've really enjoyed having the goals and the playing with my creativity to meet them... This week was a little more difficult as far as creativity went because I started the 21 Day Fix, so that took up a lot of my time!

This last week was believe.  It was all about focusing on yourself and inner strength vs outer.

Feb. 17: Spoil Yourself!

I'll be honest - Monday I got on a kick where I needed boxes unpacked.  We've been slowly moving boxes out of storage, because let's be honest, it's really hard to unpack when you've got a two and a half year old and a four month old.  I need room in the kids playroom so that a) our toddler could have his play space back, and b) I'm hosting a fit group at my house each night doing the 21 Day Fix  We only have one bathtub, and it's not in great working order right now {loooong story} or I'd have happily plopped my butt in a bubble bath.  Instead, I snuck a couple of ice cream bites, and read a book that was just for fun.  :)  There's my happy place!!

Feb. 18: 5 Mindful Minutes

There are still more boxes than I'd like, but there's a nice big area to play and workout now.  I took advantage of this for a few minutes to myself, closed off from the rest of the house, in peace and quiet.  :)

Feb.19: Be Happy! 

We were supposed to post about our happy place.  To be honest, I have two! One is South Padre Island.  My hubby first told me that he loved me there, we got engaged there, we honeymooned there... I have many, many incredible memories there.  It's pretty much impossible for me to go there and not be happy!!! The other is the Brazos River.  I've spent countless weekends here during the summer {sometimes even during the winter}.  There's not much better than floating on the river on a hot Sunday afternoon just letting the water ebb and flow and rock you to sleep.  The scenery isn't too shabby either.  ;)  It also doesn't hurt that this is how/where I met my husband.

Feb. 20: Thankful Thursday! 

I usually do a Thankful Thursday on the blog, but after a crazy week I chose to unplug and didn't get one done.  Thank you Lorna Jane for at least having me do this so I could still fit it in! :)  Choosing to give up dairy and soy isn't something I would've done if it weren't for our daughter, and it's not something I think many people would do willingly.  For me, there wasn't ever a choice - continuing breastfeeding was the only option in my mind.  I have had so much support in making this decision, and so much support in following my fitness/nutrition dreams... so I am incredibly thankful for the family I'm surrounded with.  My entire family is on a journey to get healthier, and I can't imagine where I'd be in my life if I weren't surrounded by these amazing people.  I'm getting to spend time with my mom, sister, and cousin every night that we wouldn't get otherwise, I'm getting to share in some awesome fitness/nutrition experience and knowledge with my best friend {while also getting to cheer her on while she's in nursing school!!!}, and I've got some fantastic family to back me up along the way. So very, very thankful.

Feb. 21: Share the Love! 

I already touched on this, but today was specifically geared toward our #1 supporters, so here they are! My kids are the reason I'm even on this journey, and my sweet husband never even blinked when we made the decision to completely overhaul our "diet".  It hasn't been easy, and every day is still a journey, but I'd never have been able to get so far without his support.  He's willing to try new recipes, help balance the chaos that cooking so much from scratch creates, and never fails to remind me how proud he is of the choice I made for our daughter.

This week never failed to remind me how incredibly lucky and blessed I am.  Looking forward to continuing the fitness and health journey with all of you!

A Different Type of Thankful Thursday

I've been chewing for a few days about what exactly I wanted to say in this particular blog post.  I posted a picture almost a week ago that got more response than I expected, by a long shot! And it's been heavy on my heart ever since.

See, I've never been the type to be outspoken or confrontational.  While as a kid I always loved being the center of attention, the thought slightly terrifies me as an adult.  However, when something is tugging this strongly at my heartstrings and I know it's a subject many women don't talk about and struggle with, I'm speaking out.

I was just being honest when I posted this picture.  Real girls aren't perfect.  I've said from the get go of becoming a Beachbody coach - I'm all about keeping it real.  I signed up to do this yes, a way to gain some financial freedom, to make some money for myself instead of using my husbands paycheck {I know all you stay at home mamas understand what I'm saying here}, but more importantly to make a difference in people's lives.  As a stepping stone to do what I finally realize I really want to truly do - what I'm totally and completely on fire about.  To show people that no matter who you are, or where you come from, you can do this.  In the words of sweet Aibileen: You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important. And I'm throwing one last statement in there: You is beautiful.   

When I got pregnant with our first child, that 15+ year old insecurity of my physical appearance reared it's ugly head with a vengeance.  I can't even tell you how many tears I shed over the fear of stretch marks, then later over the stretch marks themselves.  How I might never look "the same" again.  How I felt sitting next to my 23 year old {I was 29 at the time} friend that was a good 50 pounds lighter than I was, with "perfect" skin and no fear of strutting her stuff in an itty bitty bikini.  And I felt like a beached whale.  I literally cried to my husband that I didn't understand how he could still find me beautiful and sexy, when all I could see were mounds of imperfections.  Extra skin left from pregnancy, stretch marks, discolorations... I mean, let's be real, it's a bit traumatic to the system.  Especially when you use all the lotions that claim to keep stretch marks away and instead of this beautiful "perfect" belly like Tori Spelling, you end up with exactly what you were trying to avoid in the first place... I hadn't quite figured it out that pregnant bellies are beautiful.  I embraced it much more the second time around.

I went from ~128 to 174 with my first pregnancy {Aug '11 in the picture on the left}, and ~118 to 158 with my second {Oct '13 on the right}.  Believe me when I say that I gained my fair share of weight with both babies! :)

I wish I could tell you the exact moment that it clicked in my brain how silly it all was.  I wish I could say that the hundreds of times that my husband held me while I sobbed {during and immediately after pregnancy}and whispered sweet reassurances that I'd just had his baby and I needed to realize what I'd just accomplished and was beautiful to him no matter what I thought I saw in the mirror, actually clicked.  Don't get me wrong, those words helped, but that wasn't what knocked me completely off my high horse.

It was my son.  I've looked at him in utter amazement and wonderment so many times I lost count the first month of his life...and I've done so millions and trillions of time since... but my thoughts every time that I gazed at him were like a record on repeat: We made this tiny little miracle.  I carried him, and grew him, and gave him life.  ME.  The further that sunk in, the more I began to realize how incredibly selfish I was being about my body.  Those stretch marks, the ones that covered my butt, hips, thighs, around my knees, boobs, and especially my stomach - those were proof that my body had accommodated this tiny little person.  It had been his home, his safe haven, his life source.  Those stretch marks were what made me a mama.

There was another thought that popped into my head as well: how ridiculous was I being about these badges of honor {if you will}, when there are women all over the world that can't get pregnant? Had I ever stopped to realize how many women would love to be covered in stretch marks, just so that they could carry their own baby? That one stung.  Bad.  We all are inherently selfish by nature, we're all sinners, so it shouldn't have felt like such a slap in the face to realize how childishly selfish I had been about how I looked, but it did.  And I was.

How ridiculous is it that we - women in general, not just mamas - have fallen into the trap that society has set for us? That we have to look a certain way in order to be beautiful...?  Those models that we are constantly comparing ourselves to are airbrushed.  They aren't real.  And no offense, but I don't want to look that thin. I want tone, I want definition, I want to look and be strong.  I want to be healthy outside and in.  I want to be someone that my daughter can look up to.  

I stumbled upon this beauty one night {or should I say early morning?} when I was having a nursing session with my first... and literally wept with how it made me feel.  It was absolutely what I needed to hear/see at the time, and has stuck with me ever since.  I saved it on my phone, and looked at it every single time I felt down to give myself a reality check.  Kinda like, I am woman, hear me roar! {Cue: Katy Perry's Roar, haha!}  

I'd be lying if I said I didn't still have bouts of insecurity - how I still have this baby pooch, or the way my extra skin wrinkles when I bend over or do crunches, or how my boobs are not as perky as they once were due to two bouts of breastfeeding {haha!}... but they're incredibly short lived.  Fleeting moments that I wrestle with like every other woman out there.  Now, not only have I completely embraced my mama body, I'm working with it, instead of against it.  

And then I look at my two little precious miracles, and laugh at myself... and I'm thankful for every little imperfection that I earned by becoming their mama.

Thankful Thursday

I've never done one of these before, but I plan on making it a habit!

Every November, there is a trend that goes around Facebook where people list things they're thankful for every day of the month.  That's all well and good, except that we should be always be thankful and always willing to share it! Regardless of what might be going on in our life, there are things to be thankful and grateful for.  So, in no particular order, here are my top 3 today at this moment.

**Our daughter: Our little glo-worm is such a light in our life.  She's fit seamlessly into our lives like she's always been here, and literally doubles my joy as a mama.  Finding out in December that she had a milk/soy intolerance {{literally}} flipped our lives upside down, but in the best way I could have never imagined.  I had no clue that I ate so bad until I was truly forced to sit down and examine everything I put into my mouth.  I don't overeat, I've always had a good idea of many calories I ate, my labels always said "healthy" things on them... but that's just it: If your food has a label, it's not a food!!! It's amazing the way that our eyes have to be opened sometimes.  I'm just so glad that mine were.  Now I'm not only making better choices for myself and our daughter, but it's bleeding into other family members as well.  It's ignited a passion in me that I always knew I had, but never knew what to do with it.  Now, I have an outlet and a purpose!

**Beachbody: I've always loved the workouts.  I honestly had no idea until recently that you could even be a coach.  Having this opportunity shown to me finally provided the outlet that I wasn't fully aware I needed.  It's helped me to be the advocate for living healthy and taking care of yourself that I've always wanted to be.  God places things in your life for a reason - this was a door He swung wide open, and I took a leap of faith and went through.  I haven't been in it long, but I already have some awesome people that will be starting on a journey with me this month to try out the new 21 Day Fix, and I'm so excited to see what this does for them!!!! I'm also hoping that this will turn into an amazing business opportunity for me so that I can not only build a business doing something that I absolutely love, but it will take some of the financial burden off my sweet husband.

**My husband: He is my #1 encourager, regardless of what I want to do.  He's there to console me when I feel like a huge failure, to comfort me when I feel lost, to be my cheerleader when I want to try something new... He's my partner in everything.  He's a great dad, an incredibly hard worker, and never fails to sacrifice things to make sure everyone has what they need.  I tell people constantly how amazing he is, but I'm sure I fail on more than one occasion to tell him how grateful I am that he's in my life.   My heart swells when he roughhouses our son, or snuggles with our daughter.  I don't think I could ever be more thankful for what my life has been blessed with... but then again, God never ceases to surprise me!     

**Ok, so top 4.  I can't leave out my son.  He was the first light in our lives, our little monkey that started bouncing around in utero and has yet to slow down.   At two and a half, he has become such an individual, so independent.  He loves to help with things, to be a big brother to his new baby sister, to be the astounding little awesome person that we created.  He literally is our first little miracle.  He challenges me to be the mama I want to be for him, to create a lifestyle for us that keeps us all happy and healthy together.  Our chapter of life that began the day that he entered the world has never been the same, nor would I want it to be.  So thankful and blessed for my little immediate family!!!!

I seriously could go on and on, and mention how grateful and blessed I am for the rest of my family and my friends, but this could turn into a seriously long post...  I'll save them for their own special Thankful Thursday in the future.  :)

What are you thankful for today??